Dono de quê?
Dono de quê?
E então, uma vez me disseram que se algo fosse realmente pra ser meu, iria voltar. Mas, com todo o respeito aos cabelos brancos e vividos daquele homem, ancião, e sábio, murmurei e remoí aquele sentido sem significado durante tempos.
Parto do ponto de que se é meu nem deveria ter ido para outro lugar fora da minha vista; e me contraponho pensando: é possível? Realmente? Possuir alguém ou alguma coisa?
Pois bem, já quebrei copos que eram meus, objetos de arte e muitas taças de cristais nas crises de glamour das viradas de ano, preferencialmente da coleção antiga da mamãe. Já rasquei livros por descuido, outros por chuva fina que caía enquanto distraidamente eu disparava rumo às aulas de um prédio ao outro no período do ginásio. Já queimei fotografias que me recordavam rostos e momentos que por melhores que tivessem sido nas lembranças só me machucavam. Já guardei flores entre as páginas de um livro bem grosso, e depois de anos as joguei fora por estarem feias, murchas e inodoras. Já perdi guarda-chuvas aos montes, de todas as cores e tamanhos; pretos, floridos, metalizados, plásticos, estampados e lisos. Emprestei roupas que nunca mais veria no meu armário. Já colei chicles, após mascar e perder o sabor adocicado, embaixo de bancos das lotações; e teoricamente, por ter pagado por eles, eram meus.
Os copos não voltaram; as taças nem sequer puderam ser reconstruídas. Os objetos de arte, um ou outro, eu ainda vi durante muito tempo prostrados em algum canto de decoração menos privilegiado devido as ranhuras de porcelana colada; Os livros, precisei comprar outras edições, as fotografias, só as via num filme de máquina fotográfica antiga que meus pais guardavam, as flores viraram adubo e nunca mais voltaram. Guarda-chuvas e roupas foram reciclados, revividos e repassados ainda depois de mim. Os chicles não voltaram, e destes nem fazia muita questão mesmo.
Mas ainda penso em você, que era meu por conquista. Que foi embora; que agora veste outros corpos, bebe n’outros copos e taças, masca chicletes repartidos com pessoas diferentes, registra outros momentos em outras máquinas; já não é mais comigo que se abriga debaixo de um guarda-chuva quebrado ou do novo que compramos juntos e guardo até hoje; e as roupas que eu te emprestei já nem ocupam mais o seu guarda-roupas. Você não é meu nem d’outros.
E eu? Descobri que não era mais teu. Mas de outros.
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